There’s a moment I remember clearly from my time as a CEO of my NFP. I was in front of my team, holding back tears (not very successfully…) after a particularly rough, tough week. I’d just finished telling them how uncertain I felt about the future of the organisation – and when I looked up, and saw their faces, I saw a mix of deep concern, fear, discomfort, and confusion on their faces.

That was a clarifying moment. I wasn’t leading. I was leaking. This was not what they needed from me right now.

And that’s when I truly learned: vulnerability is powerful, but overexposure is burdensome.

Vulnerability isn’t dumping. It’s leading.

We hear a lot about vulnerability in leadership (thanks, Brené – truly, it’s groundbreaking stuff), but let’s be honest- what does it actually look like when done well? It’s not crying in every meeting or turning your team into your personal processing space. It’s not sharing your unresolved personal chaos in hopes of feeling lighter. That’s not leadership. That’s self-soothing in the wrong room. Leadership vulnerability is intentional. It’s about being honest and human without handing your people your emotional backpack and expecting them to carry it.

The difference is subtle but seismic, and the best expression I’ve seen of it was from Jacob Morgan, in his book “Leading With Vulnerability”

VULNERABLE	VULNERABLE LEADERSHIP
Admitting To A Mistake	Admitting to a mistake (V) and sharing what was learned (L).
Asking for Help	Asking for help (V) and commiting to learning what you need help with (L).
Showing Emotion	Showing emotion (V) but practising self-awareness to be conscientious of how that emotion comes across and the impact it can have (L).
Saying “I don’t Know”	Saying “I don’t know” (V) but having an idea or a plan for how to figure it out (L).
Talking about Personal Challenges or Struggles	Talking about personal challenges or struggles (V) for the purpose of connecting, creating trust, and relatability as opposed to a therapy session (L).
Being Unsure	Being unsure (V) but having a vision for where you want to end up (L).

Vulnerability, when paired with leadership, creates trust. But unfiltered emotion without clarity can erode confidence and safety in the room.

So how do you know if you’re leading or leaking?

Start with your intention:

• Are you sharing to connect and empower?
• Or are you sharing to offload and be comforted?

And then check your impact:

• Are people walking away with clarity and purpose?
• Or with worry and uncertainty?

True vulnerability doesn’t ask others to fix, rescue, or reassure. It says:

“Here’s what I’m facing, what I’m learning, and how I’m moving forward. And I’m bringing you with me.”

That’s what builds resilient teams. That’s what fosters trust.

A Practical Insight:

The next time you’re tempted to be vulnerable with your team, pause and ask:

Am I leading with this truth? Or bleeding from it?

Then ask:
What is the takeaway they need from this moment?

If you’re not clear on that—wait. Process it with your coach, mentor, or journal first. Your team is not your therapist. They need your humanity—but also your grounding presence.

Reflective Questions for Your Leadership

• When I share something personal with my team, what impact do I want to have?
• Am I seeking connection or comfort?
• Do I know the lesson in what I’m sharing—or am I still in the messy middle?
• How can I lead with both heart and stability?
• Where in my leadership could I turn emotional honesty into clarity and vision?

You don’t have to be perfect to lead powerfully. In fact, the best leaders I know are gloriously human—messy, learning, evolving. But they’re also anchored. They bring their team into the story from a place of purpose, not pain.

Let’s be those leaders.

A QUICK GUIDE FOR YOU….

You know vulnerability builds trust. But let’s be honest—it also feels risky. What if I share too much? What if my team sees me as weak?

The truth is, vulnerability isn’t about oversharing—it’s about leading with authenticity and integrity. When done right, it strengthens your leadership, deepens team trust, and creates a culture where people feel safe to bring their best.

This quick guide gives you 5 simple, low-risk ways to integrate vulnerability into your leadership—without ever feeling exposed. Download it HERE.